laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
What a dumb baby whore.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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