No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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