he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
