NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
