i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
