so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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