P.S. I can't hear my feet
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize