I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Randomize
