Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he thought i was a dude.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
