I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
