I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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