I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize