so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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