In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
