I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
As shirtless as possible
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
whose parrot is this?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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