We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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