I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
