Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
