also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
