I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
