Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
