god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
