That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
