you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My ass is underappreciated
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize