Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
