office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
