i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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