dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
where does the pee come out of this thing
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
