I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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