Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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