At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
