were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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