Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
