ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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