Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
