i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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