And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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