Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
