I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
