That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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