things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize