My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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