So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
