My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We left the knife in your bed.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
