Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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