i just google imaged poop.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
