my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
