how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
