I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
