I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
