My cat gives me a boner
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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