wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Randomize
