Umm I'm too high to move.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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