A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
