OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
