An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
