No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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