Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
