I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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