he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
