dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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