did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize