No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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