are you so shy because you have an std?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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