Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
do herpes really smell.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
